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Tomorrow, I'm 40...

An #openbook moment.

Tomorrow, I’m 40. 

I feel a great sense of anticipation about this birthday.

But, today, I’m tender and reminded of my deep, deep human-ness.

To be human is to feel. It is to ache and quake. It is to laugh and sing. 

It seems part of my work at this moment is figuring out how to hold it all. Not “keep it together,” but rather, hold it all. To show reverence for my emotions. 

To welcome my tears for all that they remind me of. 

To tell my story. To tell a story. To be a storyteller of this time.

To bring forward all of me, because I know living in our truth has the power to change us, which changes each other, which changes the world. 

Because I’m me, I’m certainly reflecting on some of the things that have transpired in the last six months as I focus on my own expansion… 

I have begun to: 

  • Compile and edit my first (non-client) book (an essay collection featuring other writers) 

  • Dabble in long-form fiction writing 

  • Share my writing more regularly with this Substack and start pitching stories elsewhere

  • Explore Judaism and reclaim/uncover more of my spiritual identity and ancestral connections

  • Uncover and deepen my commitment to a Free Palestine and liberation for all beings, finding community with others committed to the same 

  • Read, read, read and write, write, write with the voraciousness, hunger and passion of my 12-year-old self 

White woman with long blonde hair, sunglasses, throwing up a peace sign and wearing a keffiyeh
Pic of the author

Two weeks from now will mark 20 years since my dad transitioned. 

Tomorrow, I turn 40.

Tonight is the new moon. We enter into a new month on the Hebrew calendar: Sivan. 

Here, we are at the foot of the mountain. We are ready to receive Wisdom. 

The air feels ripe. Change, curiosity, transformation and evolution. 

I don’t know what’s around the corner but I feel tender, vulnerable, courageous and ready. 

Ready to receive. Ready to co-create with the Universe. 

To commemorate my 40th turn around the sun, I’ve decided to continue my excavation journey and share a passage or page from my old journals and diaries throughout the rest of the year. The first one will land next week. Subscribe to my (free) Substack to get in on the goods.

I can’t promise it will be prolific but I can promise it will be cringe-y. (Better, right?) 

Until then… xx 

The original post can be found on my personal Substack here.

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